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St Peter was at the gate and said, “However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven.”The first guy comes up to the gate and says, “I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her.” So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.The next man comes up and says, “I cheated on my wife a little but I still love her.” He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.The next guy came up and said, “I cheated on my wife a lot.” He gets a scooter.Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.He asked, “Why are you crying you have such a nice car?” and the man sobbed, “My wife just went by on roller skates.”Phone Operator: “G’day mate ... Helpline here ... What’s the problem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stung on her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”These are compliments. I would find out what kind of work he did, what kind of music he liked, where he was born, if he drank or smoked grass - but not if he was married. Not unless he volunteered the information. It was three days before he came back, and I was anxious all three days, worrying he might not come at all. He simply asked if we could do it again. This time was a variation on the last time, with one difference being we started kissing the moment we got in bed, making love instead of just having sex. He was either a complete gay top or a bi – obviously – but I didn’t care which. The only thing was, even though he was a great lover, I couldn’t shake the feeling he wasn’t really experienced in gay sex. He just somehow seemed like a new-comer. Another thing I did that second time is I lay on my back with my head over the edge of the bed. I had him stand on the floor and lean over me, so he could slide his cock completely down my throat. He loved it and fucked my mouth like that for about ten.
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